I’ll get…this!!!
I gave them the tape on Monday, and one day later the review is "Your tape was crazy."
Alright, no false modesty. This morning when I went in for coffee, the baristas looked up to see me and let out a banshee wail of unrequited passion. Immediately all three vaulted over the counter, upsetting a pyramid of cinnamon-chip muffins in their desperate haste. Frozen with surprise, I suddenly found myself pinned to the cafe floor, hands tearing at my clothes and hair. "I will devour him and steal his power," cried the girl with orange hair and septum ring, "that tape destroyed my brain and replaced it with candy!" "I want to love him as only a woman can!" squealed another, her stocking-cap askew, "That tape made me feel like I was sweetly ravaged by a Kodiak Bear!" Adding,"He’s mine!" The skinny gentleman with the Rotary Club tank top shook me wildly by the collar. "Why do you walk among us!? No man who made such a tape can be mortal!! That mix makes Guernica, look like whale shit!" With a bellow, and a burst of adrenaline-strength I wrestled to my feet and lurched for the door, each limb towing the body of a weeping employee. I finally shook them off and ran for the train, dodging volley after volley of tossed underwear. It’s a fucking miracle I escaped with my life.
Crazy.
This Sunday I went exploring, and around noon found myself down in Daily Plaza watching an acrobat. She was doing a rope routine, tangling and untangling herself 50 feet above the concrete. The acrobat was dressed as a sexy witch.
I then made my way over to the Cultural Center, where I saw some screen prints and photographs. I don’t know if you knew this, but war is everywhere and it is bad.
I then took the Blue Line over to Wicker Park and the Damen bus back to Lincoln Square. Halfway through the trip, the driver began loudly dispensing child-rearing advice through the open door to a woman walking alongside the bus. During the ride, I happened to be sitting across from the female Peter Lorre.
I ate lunch at the house of Wah Sun, a Chinese restaurant that looks like a Pizza Hut crossed with a condemned barn. Indoors however, the atmosphere is surprisingly cozy.
Then I went to Evil Clown and bought this.
But should have picked up this.
October 19th, 2005 at 11:39 am
Um, I want to know what a girl has to do to get mentioned in your oh-so-esteemed blog. Throw panties, apparently. Humph.
October 19th, 2005 at 11:40 am
But, brilliant as usual, Ross…
October 19th, 2005 at 1:03 pm
haha these past 2 entries are funny
October 20th, 2005 at 2:27 pm
did you listen to the two mixes on the certifiedbananas.com site? i’ve loved what i’ve heard. still waiting on my personal copies of the 16 buck set of 6 mixesm but 6 discs for 16 buckaroos = banzai, mofo.
October 25th, 2005 at 8:19 am
Beans and Bagels? Maybe if you gave them that tape they would make sandwiches faster. Very funny blog!