Essential Sounds
Dear makers of music, please include more of these FX in your tunes.
Smoking Herb. Nothing like sound of a deep, raspy inhale followed by a nimbus-cloud exhale right before the beat kicks back in. Madlib does this, like, thrice a song. I want my records to give me a deep contact high so I can focus how delicious raw Ovaltine is.*
Lions, Tigers, and Bears Roaring. Not just for wresting themes anymore! It’s like, that chick from that band isn’t just going to do you, she’s going to eat you afterwords. Bro, whalesong is for gay gay gays.
Walesong.
The Sound this One Door in my Dorm Makes. Seriously, if I had a sampler I would record this rusty hinge, give it the Matmos treatment, and turn it into a 12-minute opus. Then it would be my dealmaker on dates. I am going to get so laid.
Male Orgasms. So guttural, atonal, and weird. It’s like the roadside car-wreck of sound FX. It deserves it’s own album.
*Very.
